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Few participants, however, have been willing to describe these scenes to me without a guarantee of anonymity.

If this were just confined to personal lives it would be one thing.

Guests arrive before dinner and are checked in by private security guards, who will turn you away if you’re not on the list. But at the most intimate gatherings, guests will cook dinner together; that way they don’t have to kick out the help after dessert.

Alcohol lubricates the conversation until, after the final course, the drugs roll out. Ecstasy or Molly, known for transforming relative strangers into extremely affectionate friends, is de rigueur, including Molly tablets that have been molded into the logos of some of the hottest tech companies.

The stories I’ve been told by nearly two dozen people who have attended these events or have intimate knowledge of them are remarkable in a number of ways.

Many participants don’t seem the least bit embarrassed, much less ashamed.

If you’re reading this and shaking your head saying, “This isn’t the Silicon Valley that I know,” you may not be a rich and edgy male founder or investor, or a female in tech in her 20s. “Anyone else who is on the outside would be looking at this and saying, Oh my God, this is so fucked up,” one female entrepreneur told me.

Some, devoted entirely to sex, may be drug- and alcohol-free (to encourage safety and performance) and demand a balanced gender ratio.

At these kinds of party, there are tons of them.”I believe there is a critical story to tell about how the women who participate in these events are often marginalized, even if they attend of their own volition.

One female investor who had heard of these parties before I approached her told me, “Women are participating in this culture to improve their lives.

But what happens at these sex parties—and in open relationships—unfortunately, doesn’t stay there.

The freewheeling sex lives pursued by men in tech—from the elite down to the rank and file—have consequences for how business gets done in Silicon Valley.

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